c u on top - satyabrata dam

No mountain, not even Everest, is worth dying for and there’s no triumph upon the summit of any mountain, however easy or hard fought the summit might be. There’s only exhaustion, trepidation, some amount of bewilderment and perhaps a sense of relief. Most summits are desolate, hostile and unfit for human existence. There’s no pot of gold, no glory, no treasure anywhere on these lofty places where we stay only few minutes after having struggled through weeks and in some cases months of inhuman conditions. Why do this, again and again, is the purpose of the climb to summit, how sometimes we forego all caution and put our very lives at stake to claim that momentary glow of being at the summit, throwing all cautions to wind. How does one single step become more important than anything else we have or love including our lives? And upon no mountain is this more evident than Everest. When we are too focussed on success or reaching the summit, we often do not enjoy the climb, cursing ...

Someone I know, who had enough time and focus, once decided to count the number of steps it takes from the time one starts walking from Lukla, climbs to the top of Mt Everest and then walks back to Lukla to catch the return flight to Kathmandu. On an average this entire journey takes 45 days, give or take few. When my friend shared his idea to me of counting his steps, I took it as a joke. It seemed absolutely impossible to me that someone could do it, even keep a track of steps, especially when gasping for breath above Camp 2 walking into thin air and then into the death zone. It takes all energy and focus to just breathe and climb and keep our sanity, who could keep counting steps! But then my friend did it. He counted each and every step, irrespective of the length, or speed, or place. He counted even the steps he took from his tent each day to go to the toilet and back, or to the dining tent and back. He counted the steps that ferried him to his other friend’s camps or for the ho...

Few weeks back I received a mail from a young climber, who has just started setting her eyes upon the lofty peaks around the world, pondering if she could actually climb anything in the world. I guess she found in me a climber old and bold enough to have climbed and not climbed many mountains, who might offer her some insights into the insane world of mountains and climbing. She asked very briefly: the secret of climbing any mountain in the world. Before I replied back to her, I really gave this short question a long overdue thought. We all climb all the time but seldom do we pause to wonder what the secret of climbing successfully is. Why are some climbers more worthy than others? What makes a successful climb? And here I mean reaching the top or ending the desired line or route till the top as success and not merely making a bold attempt. I analyzed and dissected many of my iconic climbs, both successful and abortive attempts to compare what made the difference between the two....

Earlier this week a friend died in a climbing accident. He wasn’t just another regular bloke hanging off vertical walls. He was a master of his game, as badass as they come, yet he died. His safety system had perhaps failed or perhaps the rock upon which he rested came off. We would never know; he was climbing free-solo, risking his life to a level unacceptable to most. It’s the level where there is absolutely no room for error, subjective or objective. It doesn’t matter whether you failed or the mountain failed; ultimately it’s the climber who is lying dead at the bottom. And this incident jolted me out of a falsified dream I have been living through most of my adult life. It wasn’t his death that did this but the possibility that if he hadn’t died; then what? I am a firm believer of destiny in matter of death. It is already destined by some divine power or yet unexplained scientific phenomenon that our time and date of death is fixed and nothing can change it. What isn’t determ...

I love frozen water; soft or hard, not too soft though. I have been in love with frozen water almost all my life. The love affair started when I was ten and stepped on my first Himalayan glacier; love at first sight. As my tiny foot crunched ice beneath my boots, a thunderbolt passed through my body and brain, defining the path that I would follow for the rest of my life; which has now taken me around the world in search of ice and snow in its myriad forms. From the highest summits to the deepest oceans, to the poles and to the tropics, from volcano craters to ice caps I have pursued frozen water in all its shapes, sizes, forms, dimensions, colours wherever they may be. Charting my life through hundreds of far flung freezing glaciers, skipping across lofty summits piercing the azure, ice fields and Polar Regions I have realized that ice and snow is something that I just cannot have enough of, just like love. I have a restless explorer’s heart and a curious mind and the dynami...

I stare down at the tottering praecipe, and at the blue limpid lake far below, and inch closer to the edge, even an inch more and I would tumble and hurtle through empty space towards ground. I am precisely 323 m up in the air, I know for sure, since I just climbed up the sheer granite crag leading my friend from the ground barely two hours ago. It is a breathtaking clear morning, sparkling in the sun like a samurai sword; I am standing above a Norwegian fjord of unparallel beauty. I am supposed to jump; there’s a tiny parachute strapped to my back. It is my first (and last) BASE jump. I have lived my entire life on the edge, risking death countless times, I am an extreme alpinist and a proficient sky diver, and I don’t fear death. My friend, an extreme BASE jumper, prods on my back, urging me to jump. I look up and around, allowing the morning breeze to ruffle my short hair and temples, a cold chill runs down my spine. I am afraid, there’s fear within my palpitating heartbeat. I...

2015 was an exceptional year for several reasons; never before did I usher in a year doing tango in Buenos Aires at one of the most extravagant Tango shows in the world; which I precisely did on the midnight suspended into that twilight zone between 2014 and 15. How or why did I find myself in such resplendent and uncharacteristic surroundings are a tale best told elsewhere but for now let’s zoom into the stats. Countries visited – 12 spread across four continents Countries visited for the first time – 3 (Guatemala, Honduras, Macedonia) taking now my countries tally to 168 Southernmost point visited – Ushuaia in Argentina Northernmost point visited – high Tatras Slovakia Climbed the highest peaks of Central America After a very long time, an entire year went by without climbing above 7000m, which was duly compensated by several high points of different countries and tons of winter climbing across lesser ranges of Europe. This was a relatively sane and accide...

To love without reason To flourish without season To learn without lesson To own without possession To know without being told To be young when old To risk and be bold To cherish and behold To show that we care To challenge and to dare To smile in despair To let go and share To know when it is time To pause in our climb To life when it is run To die with utmost fun

There are many symbols of love in this picture and of course the way is Love When love is the way One day I will find my way To you No matter who you are No matter where you stay One day I will find my way To you No matter to you I am unknown No matter how much wind has blown One day I will find my way To you No matter where you hide No matter how far you ride One day I will find my way To you No matter how long it takes No matter my heart how much it breaks One day I will find my way To you No matter if I cry No matter if I die One day I will find my way To you No matter if I be the last No matter if you are my past One day I will find my way To you No matter what you are No matter how you are One day I will find my way To you No matter if I go blind No matter if you treat me unkind One day I will find my way To you No matter how long is the way No matter how much I sway When Love is my way I will never lose ...

Whatever I learnt in life the mountains taught me how; so is about love. The following lessons of love I learnt are invaluable and I have tried to apply them in matters of heart. How far have I succeeded can only be confirmed by the women I have had the privilege of being loved. I have used the word mountain as a synonym to love. Read on and apply, and let love happen.   Mountains are much farther than they appear to the eye. Be patient, keep going and you will reach A mountain can be viewed in totality only from far. Sometimes distance is necessary There is no pot of gold on the top of a mountain but the climb is full of priceless treasures, cherish and enjoy the climb A mountain no matter how big or small can only be climbed one step at a time. You must begin your climb from ground with one step, only then would you understand what your second step should be and the next one and the next thereafter. Each step will define and create your next step A cli...

Once upon a time, long time ago; a master and a novice started climbing a hill in the Himalaya for no apparent reason. It was early morning, still pitch dark and freezing cold. Master climbed silently barely making a sound with a placid demeanour belying any efforts in his part while the novice a young teenager struggled with a mind full of questions. Here is the story -   Why do we climb – novice asked Just breathe – master answered Why are we climbing in the dark Just breathe I can’t see anything Just breathe I am cold and tired Just breathe I can’t climb anymore Just breathe How far is the top Just breathe I want to stop Just breathe And then soon enough the sun begins to rise painting the azure in shades of gold and orange and mauve. The novice stood speechless at the spectacular play of light and shades upon the snow covered peaks that lay before him like endless chain of white pyramids. He had never seen anything as majestic o...

People say I have an exciting life and wish to know how they too can have such levels of excitement so here’s my post for all of you; mantra for an exciting life full of excitement and adrenaline rush. What exactly is excitement; what is it to be exciting? Dictionary tells us that excitement is a feeling of arousal, a feeling of lively and cheerful joy, state of being emotionally aroused, something that agitates and arouses some kind of headiness within our minds. Therefore anything, any activity that we indulge in that produces such effects is an exciting pursuit. Is life per se exciting, is merely existing an exciting way of living? Or do we need to stir the pot once in a while to make it exciting? Can anyone have constant excitement of existence, like living in a high every moment 24X7 for your entire life till your last day! We all know that ‘change’ is the only constant in the universal laws of this world. From low entropy to higher entropy that determines the...