Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Goofiest Mistakes of My Life

People often ask me what have been my worst moments in life, when I almost died, or felt that I wouldn’t get back alive, when everything seemed hopeless and totally lost. My answer normally is that despite anything nothing is ever hopeless. As long as I have my last breathe within me even if I am totally lost and on the verge of dying. There is hope as long as there is life. And then I embellish it with saying that there are no worst or best moments in life; it all depends on which side of the fence you are looking at it from that decides if it was worst or best; albeit it was certainly a MOMENT.

Whereas it is said that you should count your life by how many moments that took your breath away, I normally count them by how many mistakes I made and therefore learnt something out of it and in my case my mistakes are always goofy since I laugh about them upon my own silly attitude. Oxford dictionary defines goofy – ludicrous or foolish; and mistake – a wrong action attributable to bad judgment, ignorance or inattention. Hence the title of this post signifies – Most ludicrous and foolish acts of mine that is attributable to bad judgment, my ignorance (I love this reason) and my inattention. Obviously in most of these instances I was alone. I have divided these acts into several categories with top 10 in each category in order to make it more specific, in case some of you are inspired to follow my path of ‘untrodden’ trails… read and follow at your own peril!

Sunday, August 11, 2013

When I met Mother Teresa and Madam Matahari

The other day while wading through Kalahari
I met Mother Teresa and Madam Mata Hari
One sweet lady and the other deadly

I asked 'Hello girls, how do you do?'
Mother said, 'Bless you son'
Madam said 'I better kill you'

I love them both so couldn't say no
Mother embraced me within her glow
Madam put an arrow to her bow

Being a warrior of peace
I told Mother to walk with the breeze
And to oil her bow I gave Madam some grease

So Mother ambled spreading love and joy
I tumbled behind like a lost boy
Madam would have nothing of this decoy

Following one and pursued by another
Two beautiful ladies asunder
I wished being a better runner

And then my dream ended
Upon this earth I again landed
Bruised and a bit jaded

Two beautiful women with hearts of gold
Kind Mother and Madam bold
My soul to them both sold

The above utterly ridiculous lines are a no-holds-barred impromptu take on two very dear friends, I have recently met. I respect, admire and love them both and for some reasons do believe them to be the above reincarnations.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

From Russia With NO Malice Aforethought

Your Russian Guide in Kremlin

I just returned from a madcap adventure in Russia with a group of friends to visit the highest summit of Europe – Elbrus in the Caucasus. This post is not about this climb. I know or knew Russia and Russians well and a smattering of the language that had taken me from the high volcanic plateau’s of Kamchatka to the Baltic or Finnish Lapland and from the frozen shores of Laptev Sea (Northernmost tips of Siberia) to the breezy Caspian, often pursued or accompanied by stern non-smiling men and women in uniform whose purpose was to ensure I did or came to no harm. So rushing through the Russian Tundra aboard the Trans-Siberian Rail or reindeer-sleding towards the North Pole, I had always been amazed and impressed with the Russian diversity and the people’s tenacity over so much anarchy and butchery.

My first trip to Russia was more than 20 years back when KGB ruled that world and the mere mention of Lubyanka could make any lion-hearted feel dizzy; when we had no idea who was Cheka and who was friend. In those days we had been trained and conditioned to keep our mouths shut and eyes peeled to the ground. Keep our hands in our pockets and just walk past anything that may disturb our demeanor with complete nonchalance and indifference. So I looked forward to this trip that promised to be complete fun with an eclectic mix of equally madcap people assembled from all the high and low ends of our planet. Armed only with few Russian words, a bit of climbing gear, and all my wit in that order I boarded the Emirates flight.