Friday, April 13, 2012

A Minute of Life – Gone in 60 seconds


Sometime back I did a survey through my FB friend’s and other networks asking them – if you had a minute more to live, 60 seconds of life left, how would you engage those seconds. I had no idea what to expect but within a fortnight I received 73 responses from around the globe. After that no one responded, so I waited bit more, hoping that I would be able to gather at least 100 samples before unravelling the findings and adding my two bits of wisecrack. Now I have waited for nearly a month and half without getting the 74th response to the topic in hand. And I can safely assume that those who thought about the last minute of their lives have already responded and the rest simply didn’t take me seriously. For which they can’t be held responsible since even I don’t take myself seriously.

Well, so let’s begin, as always, with the numbers –


Out of 73 responses only one was from a male. 71 of them conveyed more or less identical or absurdly similar ideas whereas the balance two were totally off the rack. One of them was obviously from the odd male friend.

Now to analyse the above findings in details...

Question A - Why only one male response and 72 women responses? The possibilities could be one or none of the following: -

1. My friend circle is outlandishly disproportionate in terms of gender ratio, with women outnumbering men by leaps and bounds. This is actually a fact.

2. Women think more about the last minute of their lives, or about any minute of their lives that can actually turn into the last of their lives. So they live more fully in every minute. This could be true.

3. Men don’t think of dying or for that matter about their last minute or of any minute, since they don’t have a minute to think of a minute since they are so busy making money, playing golf, watching TV, belching, buying gifts, or cooking, or washing, or being badgered by the womenfolk in their lives. Hmm this could also be true.

4. Women don’t think about their last minute but they want us to believe that they do (else why would they all come up with such an appalling idea on how to spend the last minute) and in doing so they are trying to portray as being sensitive, caring, loving, refreshing, etc, etc. This is not true... if it were; they would kill me at first opportunity. By the way, women also have better sense of humour than men and can handle intended pun directly directed rather well with significant coyness and élan. And this is true.

5. Men do think of their last minutes, but to avoid being labelled a wimp or girlish or sensitive (the terms we male don’t take kindly to) men pretend they don’t. This could highly be true.

6. Women love me and men hate me. I would like to believe this is true.

7. Women love me and men are indifferent to me. I would like to believe that this might be close to the truth.

8. Women think I am foolish and insane so they answer (you got to keep the insanely foolish in good humour) while men think I am way beyond their league of intellect. This is true again.

9. Women think that I might change my ways if they answer while men think I would never mend irrespective of their answers. This is partly true.

10. Women like to indulge me since they know I am a kid while men like to disown me since they know I am a kid. Hmm no comments!

11. Women have all the time to indulge in useless pursuits (like answering some fool’s foolish questions) while men are just too busy to even read what fools post. I know this isn’t true.

12. Women are kind hearted so they will keep anyone happy when it isn’t too difficult to deliver, while men are unnecessarily vindictive since they lack someone’s imagination and charm. I have no idea about the veracity of this possibility.

13. Women posted their views to the correct email and FB address, whereas men (except the solitary clever one) sent their replies to somewhere / someone else. This is again close to the truth.

14. All men are spammed in my email and FB account. No comments.

Now let’s go on to the actual findings. Like I stated above, 71 of the responses were of remarkable similarity, despite originating from different parts of the world, representing different nations, different ideologies, ethnicity, demography, etc yet they were similar enough for me to even presume that they all have been written by one individual (woman); which of course I know isn’t true. So this proves that the thought of doing something in our last minute of life is rather universal overriding geographical and social boundaries. Might I even say that if we all had only a minute left to live, we all would be indulging in identical activity around the world!

Wow, consider the possibility. That means we have finally found one way to unite the world, even if it is for only ‘one’ minute, after which no one would be alive anymore. But we would stand united as one race in that final one minute. And this has been proved time and again where sworn foes have united when faced with great calamity and possibility of annihilation. I just wish that we would be united even otherwise, in normal peaceful times. So then, let me tell you what the 71 respondents said that were so similar.

All 71 said that they would stay with the ones they loved for those 60 seconds and would die in the arms of their beloved and families. Few emphasised that they would hug their beloved in a crushing hug and shut their eyes and thus pass away. Another bolder one said that she would keep kissing her man. One romantic one said that she would simply stare deep into the eyes of her man and not let him say a word so that the moment is not broken. Well, I am not surprised since I guess her man didn’t say a word even before. One said she would take her man to the highest possible cliff and then at the count of 60 jump off. She didn’t say if she would jump off by herself or she would take her man (rather reluctant I am sure)  along for the jump of life, or would she just push her man off. You see, ambiguity can lead to so many misconceptions and people always blame me for being heartless and overtly critical.

So on and so forth, won’t go into that any more since I am sure you all have got the drift. If we had 60 seconds left on earth, we would hug, kiss, look, push, fight, sleep, play, cook, whatever all with our beloved and our families. Hmm romantic, heart rendering no doubt but not very spectacular!

So now let’s see the two anomalies to the above.

The sole male respondent wanted to go into the Himalaya and climb everything that he hadn’t or rather couldn’t, or may be wouldn’t. Not to puncture his enthusiasm and wisdom (for he is a dear friend, and one who regularly reads my blog) but if it was me, then I would have waited for the 60 seconds to pass and then climb as much as I wished since without a dimensional body I could reach atop Everest in less than a blink of an eye. But then he is a diehard mountain man and I could understand where he came from, though I have no idea where he comes from.

The other unique response was and is so unique that it defies analysis or synopsis so here it is verbatim. Though it is under anonymity and none of you would ever know who she is, but she would know who she is... this is what she said...

“In an everyday minute, my heart beats 60 times. Should it be my last, I'd surge to triple this rate by filling every part of my being with the essence of life as I knew it to be right there and then – efforts balanced no doubt by passionate memory, gratitude and, the intense fear / hopefulness for life ever-after.”

Now I really don’t have a clue what she meant by the above, yet I cannot help being immersed into her ardour.

Bottom line is – no matter what you would decide to do in your last 60 seconds, do it with the fullness of your intent and honesty of purpose; just be and live fully like you have never lived before, since after 60 seconds you won’t be living anymore. Those 60 seconds would be your last and only chance at redeeming your life, of saying what you really wanted to, of being who you really wanted to be. After that nothing will matter anymore. You will be gone.

No wonder they say (who the hell is this ‘they’ by the way?), live every moment of your life as if it were your last and you will have nothing to regret for. Indeed any moment, any minute of our life can be our last... we don’t know, so then go ahead and hug and kiss your loved ones, say what you want to, be what you aspire to be, pursue your dreams, make every minute fulfilling and the best minute of your life.

I have nothing much to add to this post but of course I know what you all want to know and for once I am willing to answer on my own. What would I do if I had only 60 seconds of life left!

Question is how I would know that I have only 60 seconds to live. Who will tell me so? And if someone does, would I believe that person! Unless it is God almighty. But how would I know it is God since I have never seen him before. Just by claiming that someone is God, someone doesn’t become God. And I don’t think any mortal has the necessary experience to predict if it is my last minute on earth.

Even then, let’s assume that I have only 60 seconds to live... you all know what I do otherwise in my life –

I do exactly nothing and I do it well and that’s exactly what I would do in my final minute. I would do simply ‘nothing’ and savour the moment with a smile on my face like I always do. My logic is simple, if I haven’t already done it then it isn’t worth doing in my last minute and if I had already done it, then there isn’t any point of wasting my last minute in repeating an act.

I know this is a completely nonsense post so my heartfelt gratitude to all who have reached this far and my apologies to those who hasn’t. But what’s true and sincere are the responses from the respondents. How would they know that I would treat something so important in so trivial a manner!

But then that’s me, to take nothing seriously and to break down everything to its digestible bits.

Why did I write this post? Well I had a lazy afternoon to fill up and this afternoon the weather around my home turned pleasant enough for me to actually fill it up.

Why did I waste your time? I didn’t waste your time. You wasted your precious seconds in reading this post, knowing full well from your previous encounters through my blog that this blog is a place where you will find laughter and few tears but never anything of permanence since that’s how nature functions.

Can you read this post in 60 seconds?

Why am I still here?

Why are you still here?

I am going to sleep (on my own)

You may go to sleep (!!!!)

Goodbye my friends, I will see you all right on top on the other side of the ‘60’ seconds.

Zzzzzzzz

5 comments:

  1. My(woman's) perspective is that women want to portray themselves as romantic souls that know what's really important in life. Nonsense, really. ;)

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  2. Satya, It seems the whole world has gone NUTS. LOL.... :))

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  3. You are such a laugh, S.. this article had be rolling in laughter... hee hee... i hope i never know that i have only 60 seconds to live! Surprises are best and most loved and i would like death to be a surprise too! And hypothetically if i did know, i really do wonder what i would wanna do, so will keep wondering till the second actually comes... xxoooxxx

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  4. hahahaha..... You are a real laugh Satya!! Am writing this comment with a big smile on my face and that means you didn't waste my time but it was used rather fruitfully!!!

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  5. the last 60 seconds? Absurdly easy

    I want to sit on a particular mountain with my wife. The mountiain I picked is the place I planned to propose to her

    But she is dead now so only god can grant me that wish. But if I know I am there I will be happy to die

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