Self Appointment - Appointment with Self

 

In general we human cannot live without making and engaging in appointments. In fact our lives begin with an appointment in a hospital (there are exceptions to this certainly) by our parents where we are delivered (like a postal package courier delivery). This is followed with a series of appointments with the pediatrician, nutrition and dietician (if your parents can afford) then the church or temple for baptism and such other things,  like schools, colleges, etc, etc. In fact the moment you step into adulthood, and even before, we start fixing and showing up for our appointments leading to our last appointment in a crematorium or a cemetery.

 

Appointments with friends and peers, with teachers, with God at holy places, with the boss or colleagues at work place, with your parents and children, with doctors when you are ill, or to go out for a meal in a restaurant, going out for a movie, with your house help, your gym instructor, with your girl/boy friend, with your spouse, with your airlines, or train, or bus, with the shop that services your car or two wheeler, and then with the endless ones with government offices no matter what you wish to do be it for passport, driving license, ration card, voter’s card, social security card, opening a bank account etc, etc. Sometimes I feel we simply live from one appointment to another only managing to breathe in the in-between moments of which there is so little.

 

The only incident and instance for which we do not make an appointment and perhaps don’t even wish to, yet it comes uninitiated and uninvited, is that of death and our departure from this world. This one appointment is totally out of our hands.

 

Now coming back to my point, while our lives are full of endless cycles of one appointment after another, seldom and rarely and for some of us never, do we make an appointment with our own selves. Whereas I feel that we must make a conscious appointment with our selves and show up and follow it rigidly like we would with our doctor or with our boss or with our school teacher or with our priest.

 

The most important person in your life is you so why don’t you make an appointment with yourself?

 

Let us first understand why do we make an appointment in the first place? When we make appointment with anyone for any reason, we are basically committing to a certain period of exclusive time that is dedicated for a certain kind of activity. Which means we are committing to showing up and focusing upon a single important activity, in other words in our daily chaotic unplanned impulsive lives, we are setting aside a duration and activity that is important for us. And for this we make and stick to appointments.

 

When you go to the gym for an appointment with your trainer to achieve your physical and mental health, you predetermine the time the appointment begins, with whom, and when it ends. So when you go to the gym you stick to your goals that you wish to achieve within that duration of the appointment. This leads to a focused and dedicated approach that is important to achieve your set goals.

 

I have often insisted that the most valuable (in fact priceless) commodity in our lives is the element of time, and time is the only common factor in all our life activities. Other elements change but not time. Time is the only common and universal ingredient. No matter what we do, sleep, study, run, work, make love, cook, travel, vacation, we always need time. And time is slipping away anyways even when we seemingly do nothing and meditate or sleep. And that lost or spent time will never return no matter what you do or how much wealth you possess. So appointments are important because time is irreplaceable and priceless. And we show up.

 

But we rarely show up for ourselves, because we live under the illusion that there’s no need for self-appointment since I am always with myself. Are we, are you? I have never met a person till today, other than certain individuals, who could honestly admit that they are spending time with their own selves. We are always running through life, from one appointment to another, all to external people and reasons that we forget our self appointment that is paramount for not only self development but also for peace of mind.

 

My suggestion, if you care, is to make self appointment every day, for whatever time you can spare, and you should spare (don’t say you have no time for yourself), nobody has time actually since we don’t possess or own time. What we do in reality is manage the time that is passing us by. And in doing so we create a space within the time to do certain things.

 

Manage time wisely and create a space for your own self within that time frame. Make a proper appointment. Write it down and stick to it. And when you begin your self-appointment, switch off all your external extensions, switch off all gadgets, go somewhere no one is going to interrupt, tell everyone around you that you would be completely incommunicado for that duration, no matter what.

 

Now what you do during that period of self-appointment is entirely your business. I cannot tell you what to do just like I cannot tell you what to do or say when you have an appointment with God or your boss or doctor. Self-appointment is your very own exclusive personal space and time.

 

But I can suggest that during this period whatever you may do, give it the same amount of dedication, commitment and indulgence as you do to any other important appointment. Do not get bored with your own company. Find and discover yourself in new ways, how amazing and exciting you truly are, look deep inwards and address your dreams, aspirations and fears and anxieties. Address them, acknowledge them and then overcome them and find new dreams, aspirations and adventures.

 

Self appointment is like cleaning up, taking care and making your own self healthy first so that you can do the same with your loved ones and friends and the society at large. Before we cure someone it is important to cure our own self. Self appointment will help you in doing just that. And if you believe that there’s nothing within you that needs to be addressed then I must admit that you are suffering the greatest malady of all.

 

We are human and we are not perfect, not even close, and we are dynamic, we change. We have best and worst days, brightest and darkest moments, happiness and sorrow, evil and good, all within our own selves. If you never acknowledge them or address them or make a conscious effort to overcome them then I am afraid you would remain somewhat less than whole within yourself. No matter how the external world might perceive you.

 

I think our need of human company or company of another living creature (dog, cat, pets) is so all pervading that we are often afraid to have only our own self as company. At a deeper level I guess genetically we have this need to connect with others since that is necessary for a society to exist. We are social animals. So when we are only connecting with our own selves we are either afraid or bored or simply nonplussed and find no purpose in being with only our self.

 

I think by now I have been able to share my thoughts adequately on self appointment and spending time in your own company so I would now end with a true anecdote. Once upon a time, long time ago, I had a friend (he doesn’t exist in my world anymore) who got married and then asked me to join him and his wife on their honeymoon. Now before some of you draw any unhealthy conclusion of this strange request, let me clear up that his reason for asking me to join him and his wife for his honeymoon was purely from the need of a third person so that boredom wouldn’t set in between him and his wife. It was at the same time one of the saddest and one of the most comic requests that someone has ever made to me. Of course I didn’t go.

 

Now please open your diary and make that appointment with yourself right here right now.